Tuesday, July 26, 2011

When smoke gets in your eye, it might be time to call 911!

It was the summer of 2009 and Lorraine and I had recently been to a grazing seminar.  We belonged to an group of farmers that raise their animals on grass rather than grain (otherwise known as “grass farmers”)  The focus of this particular seminar was on maximizing your pasture to feed your animals off of the pasture for as long as possible.  There were several speakers throughout the seminar, but one that left an impression on us was the guy who talked about burning your pasture to reinvigorate growth and to manage problem species like endopyhyte infected fescue.  He talked about a parcel of land in southern Iowa/northern Missouri that his group at Iowa State University was using for research.  One component of that research was the use of controlled burning of sections of the land each year, rotating the burned portion at 1/3 each year.  The key word here I now realize was “controlled.”

In the past I’d been hesitant to burn our pasture for a couple of reasons.  The first was that it was so patchy and overgrazed when we bought it I seriously doubted that we’d have success in burning it.  Why go out there and use up a bunch of propane having to burn most of it with a torch rather than having the wind gently push the fire through the pasture? In fact, a farmer that used to put cattle on our pastures to graze agreed with my assessment.  This guy is a lot sharper about these things than I am so I took his word for it.

The second reason I was hesitant was that, if it burned better than I expected, could I control it?  I didn’t want to be burning my neighbor’s grasslands unintentionally.  I was OK to the south because that was bare crop land.  The worst that would happen there would be the draws for drainage burning but those had dead ends that were edged by the crop land.  No problem there.  The northern edge of the burn area was a creek and marshy area.  Even if it got out of control going north, that was a natural break that would stop the burn.  On the other hand, the growth to the east and west was tall, dense and dry.  If I wasn’t careful the fire might jump the breaks and get out of control.

After years of doubt, hesitation and trepidation I finally decided to buy an attachment to use with my grill’s propane tank that turned the unit into a pretty neat torch.  My eleven year old son wanted to know if it was going be like a flame thrower he’d seen in the WW II movies.  I explained that it wouldn’t be like that but, rather, more like an oversized lighter.  I followed the instructions included with the torch and fired it up, recoiling initially at the intensity of the flame and quickly doused the flame on the end of my boot. 

In preparation for the burn I’d used my tractor and brush mower to mow a perimeter on the east and west sides of the pasture to stop it from spreading in unintended directions.  The wind was coming out of the southeast at, what I would find out fairly quickly, a rate that was a bit beyond brisk.  I was chided later with the comment of, “gee, you didn’t know there was a wind advisory?”  To that I lamely explained that, standing on the knoll where I intended to start the fire the wind was, I estimated, coming it at 10-15 miles an hour.  Heck, it’s March and a lot of people burn in March and the wind rarely drops below this level.  I had also learned from a previous effort in burning my roadside ditches in the front of the property that it’s next to impossible to burn effectively without a slight breeze.  Unlike my pasture burn which only took about 30 seconds of propane to ignite my incendiary mayhem, the ditch burning took darn near a full tank of propane to get it all burned.  That  fully reaffirmed to me that if a little wind is good, more would be better.  In retrospect I should have heeded my father’s well worn adage of “moderation in all things.”

There I stood with lit torch in hand in the southeast corner of my projected burn area.  My theory was that the fire would start in that corner and move it’s way downwind.  I relit the torch and applied the end to a nearby bunch of fescue and that’s when my theory collapsed in on itself.  The fire rapidly moved in the anticipated direction while at the same time it moved in an unanticipated direction, that being northwest, directly into the teeth of the wind, albeit at a much slower rate.  I enlisted one of my sons to help me stomp out the wayward wandering fire only to quickly realize that it was spreading more quickly than we could keep up with.   Not only that, it rapidly crossed my mowed barrier.  Within five minutes I knew that, if I couldn’t stop it from moving across the barrier into the wind, trying to stop in from crossing the barrier downwind was going to be futile.


Lorraine would later recount for me that, as she had just dropped Rachel off at a nearby park and ride.  She noticed the smoke from the interstate which was just under a mile away from the fire.  She wondered the fire might be and hoped it wasn't our house.    When she got close enough they quickly realized that, although it wasn't our house, it was our property burning.

In the midst of trying to stop the fire from moving into the wind I saw another son come up over the hill where I’d positioned him to stop the fire from crossing in an area downwind that I couldn’t get the mower into.  I yelled, asking him if he was going to be able to stop the fire and he yelled back that he could.  I’d returned to my stomping efforts with my other son at the origin of the fire, only to quickly realize that our efforts would be futile.  I followed along the fire line that was moving southeasterly, moving up over a slight rise.   Coming over the crest of the rise I saw, to my horror, the raging fire had already crossed my western fence line and was racing down my neighbors east/west fence line with flames reaching at least ten feet in the air.  With only brief hesitation  and that hesitation resulting from the impending humiliation, I dialed 911 on my cell and shared the bad news with dispatch.  About 2 minutes later I heard the local fire sirens going off in town to call the firemen to the station.  As is probably typical in these stressful situations it seemed like an awfully long time before I heard the sirens of the trucks which are less than a five minute ride to our place.  I’d called to the house to have my daughter wait at the end of the drive to direct them to the gate to get to the back of our property, but no fire trucks came.  I then noticed that they’d stopped on the road in front of the second house to the west.  I then saw some grass fire units come around from the southwest where they could drive up to within just a few feet of the rapidly spreading fire that was a 30 foot strip between  a bare field and a pond.  They got the hoses to the flames just as it was about to hit a much wider strip that would have been much harder to tame. 

About the time the water truck was being deployed on the western edge of the fire another group of firemen came along with tools that look like mud flaps attached to the end of a shovel handle.  They proceed to work the fire line and beat down the flames that, at the location, were moving slowly.  Thoroughly embarrassed and humiliated I suggested to one of the firemen that they focus on the western edge of the flames by my neighbors and let the fire continue to move south to the creek line where it would die a natural death.  Unfortunately, for me anyway, when you call the fire department they’re obligated to put the fire out.

It took a couple of hours but they eventually completed their task.  During this whole affair, I had two llamas that were very interested in watching what was going on, including a pickup sized fire truck backing over one of their own which further added to the excitement.  The rescue squad arrived, picked up their comrade and took her to the hospital where they confirmed she’d experienced only minor injuries.  Apparently there was enough smoke that the driver didn’t see the fireman behind him and the fireman wasn’t paying attention to the back up alarm on the fire truck.

When the fire trucks finally departed just before dusk I assessed the damage.  I’d intended to burn about 7 acres of my land.  Had the fire department been able to let my land continue to burn that would have been accomplished.  Instead, I managed to burn only three acres of my land and about that much of my neighbors, who shortly thereafter finished burning what I’d started.  He’s apparently quite a bit smarter than me because he managed to burn what he wanted to and didn’t burn any of my pasture.

For those of you not familiar with Earlham, it’s a fairly small town and word gets around pretty quickly.  I was dreading the upcoming Wednesday when the local paper would surely document the entire event.  When the day came I purchased the newspaper and was quite relieved to learn that they referred to the address of the fire being where they first stopped two doors down the road.  Also, my name wasn’t mentioned.  Nobody would know the difference unless I or someone in my household mentioned it to someone else.  And that’s exactly what happened.  One of my daughters shared it with a  friend, who shared it with more friends and parents, who shared it with even more friends and parents.  You get the picture?  So, it wasn’t too long until I was hearing, all too frequently, “so, I hear you had some excitement at your place this weekend” or something to that affect. 

Now, here we are, two years later and I still have several acres that would benefit from burning.  But I’m still very reluctant.  Perhaps if I take my ZTR and mow a perimeter closer to the ground I can create a more effective fire break.  And, maybe, if I pick a day where there isn’t a wind advisory I could actually control the fire. 

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Why are all these Children's Tylenol wrappers on the floor?

If you read my first post on this blog you'll probably already guess that the wrappers involved Emma, our youngest child.  I think she was probably about three years old at the time. 

That evening was uneventful for the most part.  Lorraine and I had gone out for dinner, or a movie or something like that to escape from they mayhem at home.  We arrived home around 10:00 to a living room full of kids watching TV (probably something they weren't supposed to be watching which quickly took a back seat given the situation).  We immediately noticed several Children's Tylenol wrappers on the floor.  We interrogated each of the seven kids that were awake (no waterboarding was involved) and each denied opening the packages.  The two remaining culprits were Daisy, our Newfoundland, and Emma, the three year old. 

Using my best deductive skills acquired by watching Basil Rathbone in Sherlock Holmes movies as a kid I noticed that the packages were not chewed open as would be expected if the dog got into the box.  Heck, I'm an adult and I sometimes have to chew them open because that tidy little corner that you're supposed to peel back won't.  Instead, each foil pack was nicely peeled back.  Somebody far more skilled than I had opened them and it wasn't Daisy.  That left Emma.

Knowing that excess doses of Tylenol can cause liver damage and/or be fatal, we woke Emma to question her (using UN allowable interrogation techniques).  She wasn't in the mode to be awaken which caused even further concern.  More accurately, she was pissed and wouldn't even answer our questions initially.  We were persistent though and she finally admitted...she had not taken the Tylenol and promptly went back to sleep.

We were faced with a dilemma.  None of the kids admitted to opening and/or consuming the Tylenol and the dog still wasn't talking.  Do we assume that Emma took them or do we assume that some nefarious child opened them, one by one, and fed them to the dog that she didn't like.   More on that theory later.

I called poison control and gave them the quantity, 19 pills, and Emma's weight, about 22#.  They said that that dose would be lethal and to get her to an ER immediately.  They asked where we would take her and we told them Blank Children's Hospital.  They said they'd call ahead and let them know we were coming in.  Keep in mind that Emma is showing no signs whatsoever of poisoning other than wanting to sleep which is pretty normal for a three year old at 10:30 p.m.   Nonetheless, we weren't taking any chances.  We'd take Emma to the ER knowing that if one of the other kids was lying about taking them, they'd begin to show symptoms soon enough.

We walked into the ER and told them who we were.  We immediately heard over the PA system, "code yellow" and Emma's name was called.  I'll digress breifly here and share with you that my sister recently had outpatient surgery at Rush Presbyterian Hospital and experience chest pains post-op.  They wheeled her over to the ER who told them it would be a six hour wait.  God bless the folks at Blank!

The triage nurse asked a few questions about dosage, number of pill, time the pills were consumed, etc.  They weighed her, measured her and took her blood pressure.  All normal by the way.  We were then walked back into the exam room area and installed in a room.  Keep in mind that nobody, and I mean nobody, was yet interested in who was going to pay for this.  Their focus was on caring for Emma.

A paramedic came into the room and asked some more questions and did a great job interacting with Emma.  He got Emma set up to watch a video on the TV mounted in the ceiling so the child can lay back on the table and look straight up at the TV.  She wanted to watch Strawberry Shortcake.  It wasn't too long after they got Emma set up to watch videos when a lady came in pushing a cart with a laptop on it to gather our personal and insurance information.  A very streamlined process to say the least. 

Shortly after sharing our insurance information the Dr. came in.  A few more questions followed.  She said that, based upon the time that the Tylenol was consumed we'd have to wait for it to be metabolized into Emma's system in order for it to be detected.  We had a fairly narrow window of when we suspected she ate the Tylenol and it was decided that they'd wait about an hour before drawing blood.  It was already 11:00 p.m. and a bit of a wait.

This is a pediactric ER so they know what they're doing.  They let me and Emma head down to the toy closet for her to pick out stuff to play with.  With only one or two other patients in the ER at that time of night so there was no competition for the toys.  We played in the toy room a little while and then took a few toys back to her exam room to wait for the blood test.  Emma was wide awake and raring to go at this point.  She was having fun playing with toys, watching TV and wondering why we didn't go to the ER more often.

Then the time came for the paramedic to draw some blood.  Emma was nervous but handled it very well.  A needle prick was a small price to pay to have sole access to somebody else's toy closet and unlilmited access to videos.  With the blood drawn it was another wait for the results.

About 45 minutes later the Dr. came in to let us know there's no indication that Emma had consumed any Tylenol.  It's now almost 1:00 a.m. and time to head home to wonder further who the culprit was behind the missing 19 Childrens' Tylenol.

When we got home everyone was in bed except for Emma, Mom and Dad who were now pretty tired.  We put Emma to bed and then went to bed ourselves. 

Knowing we had a happy ending to this adventure we got up in the morning to find that Daisy (remember Daisy from the beginning of this post) was vomiting.  Now, you need to understand that this dog elicited different emotions from different members of the household.  She was a rescue that we took in a few months earlier.  For a Newfoundland she was quite small due to being nutritionally abused (at least that's what I'd call it) as a puppy.  Due to indequate calories growing up her growth was stunted.  While small for a Newfoundland she still topped the scales at about 120#.

Daisy was a very quiet, gentle but insecure dog who followed Lorraine everywhere and would have been glad to show any burglar around the house.  While Lorraine really liked Daisy and I was neutral with no real attachment to her, she was reviled by some of the kids.  Dani, 18 years old at the time of the Emma ER trip, was most vocal about disliking the dog.  There were suggestions of feeding the dog chocolate or locking her outside or some other cruel and usual punishment that nobody ever acted upon.  When confronted with our theory, Dani adamantly denied feeding the Tylenol to the dog.  Yet, there we were, cleaning up dog puke for three days after the event.  And, remember, using my analytical, steel, trap-like mind I'd deduced that the individual Tylenol packets had not been chewed open.  Unless, of course, I totally underestimated the skills of this dog to open 19 packets without leaving a single tooth or claw mark. 

To this day Dani and all of the other kids deny eating the Tylenol or feeding them to the dog.  It will take more than the wisdom of Solomon and the deductive skills of Columbo to figure that one out.  Then again, maybe some day we'll be having one of those holiday dinners when all of the grown kids come over to our house with their kids and a conversation starts with "...do you remember when..." and the truth will come out.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Let the adventure begin.

I've been threatening for years to write a book about the adventures of the Bailey family.  Two friends, Kent and Tre, have both urged me to start writing the stories down.  My wife, Lorraine, has pestered me for years to just start it.  My daughter, Rachel, has written a small installment to the book already and submitted it as a creative writing project to a prospective employer and it helped get her the job.  I'll share that sometime as well.  I've also suggested that Rachel and I collaberate on a book together.   Maybe I can convince her to contribue to this blog. 

Lorraine has instilled in me the perspective that life is an adventure.  A flat tire is an adventure.  A trip to the ER is an adventure.  Kids puking as they work through a stomach virus is an adventure.  While I'll admit this is a big stretch (especially the kids puking "adventure") when you're in the midst of the so called adventure, but it's not unusual for us to look back on the event and find at least some humor in it.   My goal is to make you smile and reflect on your lives and find the humor during those stressful times in your lives. 

As for the title, "... and then it died!," that comes from living on a farm for the last 15 years.  Through the years we've had a number of pets and many, many different farm animals.  One thing that you learn from life by living on a farm is the natural cycle of life and death.  Just like with people, death sometimes comes suddenly, head on with a car (poor Chuck), and sometimes age creeps up slowly and the body just wears out.  We've seen a wide gamut of death and, mercifully, we can celebrate the life of those animals and, somewhat morbidly, sometimes find the humor in it.

Our adventures are many and I have yet to sit down and list them.  That would probably make a lot of sense and at least allow me to share those stories chronologically.  But, the best stories didn't necessarily happen early on so why wait to tell the good ones later?  For now, I'll share them as I recall them.

For a final disclosure, the facts may be blurred by the years.  Lorraine and I have been married 25 years and have 8 kids so a lot has happened.  The events can certainly be blurred by perspective as I often remember events differently than Lorraine.  I will strive though to reconcile my version to hers as best I can and will defer to her when the facts are unclear since she's a woman and we men know that women have far better memories than us.

I hope you enjoy the events in our lives as much as we've enjoyed them.  First in line is our trip to the ER with Emma due to suspected poisoning from Children's Tylenol.