The Book of Emmanations

Emma is now six years old as I write this.  My intent here is to collect some of her insightful wisdom and occasional humorous comments or, as I refer to them, Emmanations.  Emma is precocious, but not in the sense that she's a genious at math, or science or anything like that.  But, she is quite observant and comes up with comments that one would expect from someone older and more mature.  I'll publish this with a few initial comments that she's made and update it periodically and republish with the newest comments on top.  The comments won't be in any order in terms of chronology or on a scale of 1-10.  Rather, I'll note them as I recall them or, in the case of new comments, as I hear them.

9/1/11
Emma (4 years old) to Mom - "Would it ruin the future if everybody died?"
Mom - "I don't know."
Emma to Mom - "Would it ruin the future if I died?!"
Mom - "RACHEL!  HELP!"

In the summer of 2009 Lorraine and I took Emma and Hannah to the Des Moines Art Festival in downtown Des Moines.  The got to do fun kid stuff at a variety of booths.  I think I also got them a smoothie or lemonade something like that.   Inevitably Emma, little miss peanut bladder, had to go to the bathroom.  We led her to the bank of portable potties.  She'd never had the pleasure of using one of Jim's Johns.  I held the door for her.  She went in and immediately came out and said, "I won't do that." And she didn't.  She was willing to wet her pants before she's suffer through the indignity and smell of that KYBO.  That meant we were done for the day.  We walked to the car, got in and drove to a nearby gas station. 

A couple of years ago my grandmother died back in rural Illinois. We took the family back to my hometown for the funeral.  Although that was a sad occasion, my grandmother was 102 when she died and we also got to see my parents and my sister's family.  A few months later a very nice lady from our church died and Lorraine planned to go to her funeral Mass. That meant getting Emma and Hannah bathed and ready to go. But, it was Thursday morning and Thursdays are story hour at our local library which Emma thoroughly enjoyed attending. Emma said, "I don't want to go to a stupid funeral. I want to go to story hour." Lorraine empathized but explained that Emma needed to get ready for her bath and she was going to the funeral Mass. A few minutes later Emma appears in front of Lorraine in her birthday suit and says, "OK, I tell you what. I'll go to the funeral, but only if it's Grandma and Grandpa's." Lorraine and I came to the conclusion that Emma enjoyed her last visit to Illinois for Grandma Fanny's funeral so much that all funerals are now measured against that visit. So, Grandma and Grandpa, you don't need to worry that Emma wants to go to your funeral.

At four and five years old it was a common occurrence for Emma to start a sentence with, "I remember when I was three I would..."

Recently one evening, Hannah, eight, was in the living room talking to me and Lorraine. As is often the case Hannah has a tendency to go on and on.  Emma, sitting on the floor amusing herself and appearing not at all interested in Hannah's monologue, inserted herself into the conversation matter of factly, with "blah, blah, blah."

Emma - 6 - "If it hurts so much, why do they call it a funny bone?"